Interdependence

I don't know what to say about this week. It's been one of those weeks that I will never forget. One of the worst weeks of my life...

On Tuesday my mom checked her account so that we could go ahead and buy a few groceries. She discovered that she was $900 overdrawn. We hadn't been able to find her bank card for a couple weeks, but she honestly thought it'd turn up and that she'd misplaced it. After discovering how much she was overdrawn she immediately called the bank and told them it had been taken, and they began an investigation.

The next morning I got up to take my oldest daughter to camp at 9 am- (Deborah attended Camp Habitat at Kreamer's field. It's a nature camp where they teach kids about nature, and the interdependence of an ecosystem. The kids get to do art, hikes and simple experiments. She's LOVED it.) After seeing what a nice day it was going to be, when I came back I ran downstairs to wake my sister up so that we could go to Farmer's Market again.

She wasn't there.

Weird. So I looked all over the house for her while my mom hung out with Abigail and helped her finish her breakfast. I couldn't find her anywhere. Really weird. I looked in the backyard and in the garage. It's not like Beth to just go poof. And the truck was here so we knew she hadn't driven anywhere.

After getting seriously weirded out and calling Beth's friend down in Anchorage to see if Valette had come up to visit on a spur of the moment, we called Jake and asked if he'd seen her before he went to work. He hadn't, but he knew the door was unlocked when he left at 4:45am to go to work. I'd seen Beth at 3:30 am, so we knew she'd left sometime between 3:30 and 4:45, and by this time it was 10 am. She'd been gone for about 5 hours. Without the car. And we were able to figure out she'd left in shoes completely inappropriate for walking...

Around 10:30 am she called. Beth told me she was at the hospital after taking an overdose of one of her medications. She was still in the ER when I talked to her, and she was pretty out of it (she doesn't remember talking to me or my mom at all on the phone).

I don't remember the exact chain of events, but I know from something my mom did or found that we were able to figure out that my sister had my mom's bank card. She'd been hiding it and using it. She spent an enormous amount of money on art supplies, beads, books, and other things. My mom's account ended up $1,200 overdrawn... When my sister realized what the results of her choices had caused, she was completely overwhelmed. She felt guilty. Depressed. Stupid. Embarrassed. And she took an overdose of some serious medications.

The pills started making her feel weird, and she got scared so she called an ambulance. Thank you, God. They kept her in the ICU for a full day because the meds she took can cause heart attacks, and some pretty serious other stuff. And then she had a stay in the mental health unit.

While Beth was gone my mom & I fielded five or six mail orders, collected items and receipts to try and return them and we hunted for the debit card.

Mom was supposed to pay some bills on Wednesday. Because of Jake's illness, lack of work time and the loss of insurance our little Sirevaag family has been scraping by but we had just started to come up out of our hole. Mom was like most families and living from paycheck to paycheck. Beth spent my mom's entire paycheck, plus there were at least $300 in overdraft fees.

I don't know what I feel yet...

Thankful Beth is alive.
Angry she was so selfish to attempt suicide.
Angry she spent this money we so desperately needed.
Thankful she came home yesterday and isn't brain dead.
Scared she could do this again.
Precarious she has hurt us all so badly.
Untrusting.
In danger.
Confused.
Damaged.
Bitter.
Resigned.
Lost.
*****

God, thank you for the gift of my sister. Please heal her. Please repair our financial situation. Please show Beth that You are truly all she needs. Grant us light for our path and peace for our souls.

(Sidenote- Beth has begun blogging again, and has talked about this last week a bit. To read some of her posts go to: http://www.bethsdreams.blogspot.com/)