Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Beth's Depression

I got to talk to a 'family wellness consultant' through our connection with Head Start. They have a mental health clinician who works in the community who can make visits and phone calls with Head Start clients...

She talked to me about a couple things- the first is that overspending like what Beth did is a sign of serious depression. Like out of control eating or using drugs. Like when Jake was abandoned by his first wife, started driving recklessly, bought a motorcycle and took out a huge life insurance policy benefiting his mom. It wasn't until I talked to him about it when we first met that he put all those things together and realized it was a 'death wish' or suicidal thoughts...

I didn't know that reckless spending could be a symptom of serious depression.. I know that she tried to get caught, because she was using the card when I was with her. I asked her about it twice, and both times she said that she had gotten approval from my mom... I saw her overspending as just deciding she couldn't wait any longer for the things she wanted. It's not. It's a way of trying to fill the hole that depression can cause. I knew Beth's depression has been much worse lately. She has been cutting herself again. She has stopped doing some basic maintenance type things...

Another thing the consultant talked to me about was how suicide attempts bring out anger. That everybody in the family (close friends, too) probably will experience a deep anger towards the person who tried it... Well, I'm experiencing it. Not so bad today, but yesterday and the day before were pretty bad.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Difficult Day...

It's been a difficult day...
* When it rains & is nasty my girls are stuck inside and they just about bounce off the walls. They've been like two wild monkeys!
* I got to visit three different stores, tell my story, be nice and hope they'd reimburse my mom for all the stuff my sister bought.
*My husband has turned in his two weeks notice at Fred Meyer. Yes, I actually agree with his reasons, but it's still STRESSFUL. Reason #1: We received notice that they will not reinstate our insurance for the rest of the year. So, we've got all these crazy intense medical bills from his foot (ER, bone scan, doctor visits), and they're not gonna take care of him. Plus, they're not gonna take care of any of us again til the next sign up time which won't be until next January... Reason #2: Also, his new manager is apparently the 'boss from hell'. Well, she's not as bad as one of his former bosses in Seattle. (I actually got to witness her on a rampage, very pretty) Apparently, most of the other employees in his department have left since she arrived... Why do big companies allow managers to stay when all the people under them leave??? I've seen this happen so many times.
*I discovered I was very angry at my sister today. I don't like being angry. I've been angry most of the day... Makes me unpleasant to be around.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Thoughts on Suicide

I don't want to get home (heaven) and have God show me how much He had waiting for me that I never knew about... I don't want to say to Him that living for Him wasn't enough.
I've experienced depression for periods in my life, disatisfaction that overwhelms and colors everything, leaching out all joy.
I've thought of suicide at three times in my life- during those horrid 7th & 8th grade years where I was so lonely in the village and then so miserable coming back to Fairbanks; during the time right after I moved to Texas (I'm so thankful God had told me I'd be horribly lonely I'd be, 'cuz I was at least prepared for how hard the first few months were); and the first few weeks right after Deborah was born (if you don't believe in post-partum depression, you're totally missing all the clinical evidence).
These were times when I honestly thought it would be better for everyone if I just wasn't there. By God's grace & provision I was shown that I was needed. Or else I was too scared of pain to try it when I was too young to be solid in my faith...
My cousin Debbie either committed suicide or was assisted... No one is sure- there are some indicators that a 'friend' helped her and some that she did it by herself. She either jumped off or was pushed off a high Oregon cliff overlooking the ocean.
I have many memories of her.
She was beautiful with dark hair and eyes. Tall & slender. She was sweet and surprisingly patient with us little ones. She was seven or eight years older than me and died when I was 12.
I remember her doing my hair all up in little braids. She did all our hair, and then we did a fashion show for everyone.
I remember her creating a game for all us kids called 'Indian Pow-wow'. We'd all sit in a circle and cross our legs indian style. Then everybody got to suggest three different games for us all to play. We'd play whatever got the most votes... She developed Indian Pow-wow 'cuz all the cousins were such different ages and we all wanted to play such different games. I don't even know where she got the idea, but I still use it in my teaching. Maybe not the name itself, but the concept of everyone having the opportunity to say what they want.
I remember her coloring. She was so good at it! She'd create textures and patterns on the clothes of the characters.
It makes me sad to think of how much life she missed. Debbie was a believer and she knew that God was in control. I think that her life got to be too much for her. There were several very hard things about her life.
I miss her! I miss that I didn't get to know her as an adult. I miss that I didn't get to spend time with her and love her as an adult. I miss seeing what her life would have been.
I don't want my sister to commit suicide. It makes me so angry to even think of it! I don't want her to waste the incredible talents God has lavished on her... Her writing and beading and painting. Her fiber art, and eye for beauty. I'm jealous of her creativity.
I don't want to lose her.
I don't want her to not be part of my life.
I don't want her to be gone from my girls' lives.
I want to share books with her, and beading, and Farmer's Market. Movies, and reunions. I want to grow old with her, and see what she paints when she's fifty. I want to see her going to church with me. I want to see her happy. I love her so much.
I'm so mad at her!
How dare she think it's okay to leave me. She promised me she wouldn't kill herself. She promised me that if it ever got this bad again she'd tell me. She didn't tell me. She didn't tell anyone.
Her love for me wasn't enough to stop her.
Her love for the girls wasn't enough to stop her.
Her belief in God's plan wasn't enough to stop her.
I need her.
I need her to be herself.
I need her to be happy again.
I need her to be the beautiful person God made her to be...
I'm so conflicted- angry, sad, broken...
God, help. Please heal Beth's heart and help her to feel again. Help her to see how much she is loved. Help her to see your plan for her life. Help her to see that you are enough for her- for every need, every hurt, every emptiness. Love on her.

Sunday, June 22, 2008


I don't know what to say about this week. It's been one of those weeks that I will never forget. One of the worst weeks of my life...

On Tuesday my mom checked her account so that we could go ahead and buy a few groceries. She discovered that she was $900 overdrawn. We hadn't been able to find her bank card for a couple weeks, but she honestly thought it'd turn up and that she'd misplaced it. After discovering how much she was overdrawn she immediately called the bank and told them it had been taken, and they began an investigation.

The next morning I got up to take my oldest daughter to camp at 9 am- (Deborah attended Camp Habitat at Kreamer's field. It's a nature camp where they teach kids about nature, and the interdependence of an ecosystem. The kids get to do art, hikes and simple experiments. She's LOVED it.) After seeing what a nice day it was going to be, when I came back I ran downstairs to wake my sister up so that we could go to Farmer's Market again.

She wasn't there.

Weird. So I looked all over the house for her while my mom hung out with Abigail and helped her finish her breakfast. I couldn't find her anywhere. Really weird. I looked in the backyard and in the garage. It's not like Beth to just go poof. And the truck was here so we knew she hadn't driven anywhere.

After getting seriously weirded out and calling Beth's friend down in Anchorage to see if Valette had come up to visit on a spur of the moment, we called Jake and asked if he'd seen her before he went to work. He hadn't, but he knew the door was unlocked when he left at 4:45am to go to work. I'd seen Beth at 3:30 am, so we knew she'd left sometime between 3:30 and 4:45, and by this time it was 10 am. She'd been gone for about 5 hours. Without the car. And we were able to figure out she'd left in shoes completely inappropriate for walking...

Around 10:30 am she called. Beth told me she was at the hospital after taking an overdose of one of her medications. She was still in the ER when I talked to her, and she was pretty out of it (she doesn't remember talking to me or my mom at all on the phone).

I don't remember the exact chain of events, but I know from something my mom did or found that we were able to figure out that my sister had my mom's bank card. She'd been hiding it and using it. She spent an enormous amount of money on art supplies, beads, books, and other things. My mom's account ended up $1,200 overdrawn... When my sister realized what the results of her choices had caused, she was completely overwhelmed. She felt guilty. Depressed. Stupid. Embarrassed. And she took an overdose of some serious medications.

The pills started making her feel weird, and she got scared so she called an ambulance. Thank you, God. They kept her in the ICU for a full day because the meds she took can cause heart attacks, and some pretty serious other stuff. And then she had a stay in the mental health unit.

While Beth was gone my mom & I fielded five or six mail orders, collected items and receipts to try and return them and we hunted for the debit card.

Mom was supposed to pay some bills on Wednesday. Because of Jake's illness, lack of work time and the loss of insurance our little Sirevaag family has been scraping by but we had just started to come up out of our hole. Mom was like most families and living from paycheck to paycheck. Beth spent my mom's entire paycheck, plus there were at least $300 in overdraft fees.

I don't know what I feel yet...

Thankful Beth is alive.
Angry she was so selfish to attempt suicide.
Angry she spent this money we so desperately needed.
Thankful she came home yesterday and isn't brain dead.
Scared she could do this again.
Precarious she has hurt us all so badly.
In danger.

God, thank you for the gift of my sister. Please heal her. Please repair our financial situation. Please show Beth that You are truly all she needs. Grant us light for our path and peace for our souls.

(Sidenote- Beth has begun blogging again, and has talked about this last week a bit. To read some of her posts go to:

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Father's Day

We took Jake to Wendy's today!
They've got these new Frosty shakes and twisted things. They're grrrreeat! Whee! I LOVED LOVED LOVED the chocolate chip cookie dough fixins with the chocolate ice cream!

And we got to give Jake what we found at the garage sale!
Three Simpson's stuffed dolls- Marge, Bart, and Homer. Plus, a tiny little pull toy thing with doughnuts. You pull it apart, set it down and Homer rolls on his knees to the doughnuts.
Jake's a Simpson's fan (I'm not- I don't hate it, but I don't like it) and he loved what we found for him. Success.
We also had great cards that the girls had made for him. ;-)

Wrap Up

Tired. Had a great day at church.
Got some pictures of the band! Mostly lousy shots, I admit.
Wish I was a brilliant photographer! I used to be pretty good with my regular old 36, but the digital camera is still a new animal for me. I know I'll get better, but I get frustrated and sometimes just quit.
I love getting to take quick videos, though. I've got lots of little clips of my girls.
I know I'll be thrilled with those when they're teenagers and get frustrated with me. :)
They did a short drama reading today in church. I DON'T want to take it away from them, but man, I wish I got to do some stuff, too. I'm aching to do some drama. Like this empty hole in my heart. I'm delighted to see them learning what it means to use their skills in church. I'm delighted for them to be used and DO NOT want to take that away. I just want to play, too!
Wish I had my place.
I got reminded today that I belong to God. That I'm more than just his daughter. In a way, I'm also one of his tools, made for a specific purpose. Sometimes he needs to put a tool on the shelf for a while- give it a rest- let it heal.

God, am I healed enough yet to be used? I'm so tired of waiting on you!
I'm sorry. I know you know what's best. That you have a plan, and that I'm part of it. I know you see the whole picture and can figure out what has to happen before the next thing can happen. Forgive me for my impatience. Forgive me for my doubt.
Give me grace & strength, please. Grace to wait. Strength to stand.
Please don't forget me.

Friday, June 13, 2008

Friday the 13th

I took the girls to a playdate at the park today. We had a blast. Played, had ice cream and then they ran around at Hot Licks like crazy monkeys... Then we went to a garage sale and found the perfect Father's Day gift for Jake. Can't write it here, 'cuz I never know when he'll pop in. Anyway, we had a great time and came home feeling succesful. Now Abigail's taking a rest, Deborah's watching a movie and I'm doing some computer time. Good day!

Thursday, June 12, 2008


You've got to look at this pic!
Somebody found this guy in Italy... He's for real.
Not manufactured, taped, glued or genetically engineered. It's been suggested that somebody like this might have caused the entire unicorn myth. I guess we won't know til we get home, and we probably won't care when we get there... (found this pic on

My Mom

I just put my mom on an ambulance to go to the hospital.
We've all had a nasty flu bug for about a week now. We thought she & I were over it, but apparently not.
As near as I can tell, she got so sick that she messed up her insulin levels, so now she's completely incoherent.
Beth went with her, Jake's at a wedding, and I'm stuck here with the girls.
I hope that when Jake gets home he'll let me go to the hospital...
Please pray we get this one straightened out quickly. My mom turns 70 in 18 days and flu really hits older people hard.

Graphs and Maps

I found another funny site.
Caveat: Again some questionable material the further in you go; however, this site isn't visually disturbing. It's language- the occasional swear word or trashy racial stereo-type. But there's nothing visible that's gonna offend the little ones.
This site is dedicated to those of us who are condemned to make graphs to infinity for their job.
The idea is to take a song you know or some other pop culture phenomena and graph it. I'm particularly fond of these examples... Enjoy.


I've got a thing for ice.
I can sit and crunch a whole tray of ice- like it's a snack...

Okay, I know you think I'm weird, but really, it's WONDERFUL!
I like to take the ice tray out of the freezer and let it sit on the table for about 20 minutes, let it get kinda rotten and a little bit soft.
I recently learned that ice-crunchers are typically anemic. Go figure. I already knew I tend to be anemic. (It's a side benefit of my endometriosis. I'm pretty much always low grade anemic.) I had no idea my ice crunching habit was related to my anemia.
Cool. You really can learn something new every day.
The best place in Fairbanks for really good ice is the hospital. They've got the ice machines that give you the tiny little ice cylinders (their ice is in the shape of a pencil and cut up into inch long pieces). As far as I'm concerned, that's one of the very few good reasons to be at the hospital. We learned about the fantastic ice when Abigail was born (the other good reason to be at the hospital). Now every time I have to go to the hospital (like when my mom had her knee surgery) I make sure to grab me a styrofoam cup of ice, sometimes with water.
Crunch, crunch, crunch...

Saturday, June 07, 2008

I take it back!!!

I recently recommended to any and all.
I need to adjust that recommendation, or at least add a warning.

While it is quite funny, the further in to the past posts I've gone, the less funny it is.
Too many dead animals.
Too many badly hurt people.

So, yes, there are some VERY funny posts, but you've got to take it with a grain of salt, or at least be aware of where some of it goes...
And definitely don't go searching for it with the little ones sitting on your lap, 'cuz some of it is in rather questionable taste.

Time to Make a Change

I've been struggling with what we're supposed to be doing lately... It's been something going on in the back of my mind for a long time, but there's more pressure right now.

It's summer. That's when Alaska comes to life. We all work like crazy ants running around. Kind of like we've only got 6 months of sun to squeeze 12 months of projects, playing and life into...

Since Jake's accident and his subsequent loss of insurance we're both very unhappy with his job. He's applied for a couple of different jobs in town and been turned down for various reasons.

There's very little I can do at our church right now.
I'm helping out with youth, but their main focus is on Friday nights. Fridays are a really hard day for me, 'cuz Jake always wants to do something... Plus, I hate big group stuff, especially when I don't know very many people. I'd much rather hang out with just a few students, or teach a Bible study, or lead a small group of young women. The youth guy has the focus on playing games and then a big teaching time. Not the best way to develop relationships.
They just don't need me for drama- they've got someone who's supposed to be in charge of the drama program they're starting (she's not doing much, IMO, but she's the one the pastor wants).
They don't need me for music- the worship guy has the team he wants and doesn't care for djembe.
They don't need me for children's choir- they've only started up a program in the last 2 years and all they're doing right now is a Christmas musical.
They need people in the children's program, but after running that full time I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it's not where my heart & joy is focused. I don't want to plant myself there when I don't enjoy it, even if I can do it.

I guess the sum up is I don't feel necessary at our church. I'm sure this is where God has us at this time, but I don't see this as a long term thing.

I'm tired of living in my mom's house. At first I knew it would be until Jake finished school, so I could handle it for a little while. But that little while has turned into 5 years. And Jake has pulled out of school.

As much as I love my mom and sister, I'm ready for us to be on our own. And we can't afford it with the job Jake has... I'd have to work again... I'm not against this, I just wanted to wait until the girls are both in school. I really think little ones need their mom (or a dad for that matter... I don't have any strong feelings about it being a mom or a dad, I just think little ones need the stability of having one parent with them all the time). My mom couldn't watch them while I have a full time job- her health is just not good enough.

I think we've done as much recovering from our nasty church experience as we can at this point... We've watched our old church hemorrhage out families from the gaping wound this new pastor has caused... I wish we could do something, but at this point the best thing for us to do is just pray for them, and we do.

At first, I NEVER wanted to work for a church again. I don't know where Jake is in this process. We've both been called into FT ministry. Neither one of us has a clue what that can possibly look like now. It's hard to trust any church wholeheartedly now... I can trust God, though. I can trust that He can use this for his plan- that He can take anything sick, nasty, and 'religious' and make it into a beautiful, awesome and glorious display of his grace, love and mercy.

I'm ready for a major change. I don't know what that change should entail:
Moving out of Alaska.
Teaching again.
Serving in a church.
Serving as a missionary overseas.

I don't know.

But, wow. I'm ready for things to change. I'm so ready!

God, give me the patience to wait for your plan, and the courage to grab hold when I see your plan come together. Please give Jake & me eyes to see what you're doing. Please give us ears to hear your voice. Please give us the strength to wait. Please give us the strength to act. Show us what we must change and do to follow the path you have for us. And whatever might be holding us back- make it apparent and clear so that we can change.

Friday, June 06, 2008

FB Games

Currently, my favorite games on FB are:
Scrabbulous- It's scrabble! I'm playing with some serious people, and just enjoying it. I haven't played Scrabble since I was a girl. And frankly, I always used to beat my sister. I thought it was 'cuz I was smart. It was 'cuz I was two years older than her. Duh.
Scramble- It's basically Boggle, only with a computer. I can play by myself, or against people in a live game room, or against friends. I like Boggle. A lot.
The Hatchery- I get an egg. I spend some points watching over it, and then a cute little baby monster hatches out of it. I name the baby, and take care of it... I don't know why I'm enjoying this. I think it's the fun of not knowing what's gonna come out of the egg. I also think that while I'm enjoying it right now, the delight won't last.

Milo & Otis

I have thoroughly enjoyed The Adventure of Milo & Otis. Deborah chose it at the library , so I checked it out with some trepidition. Here's my favorite lines:
Milo: But deep down inside we're all cats, right?
Otis: No. Deep down inside I'm a dog. I'm a dog.
I'm always leary of animal movies. Seems they're often written just for emotional trauma.
But Milo & Otis is delightful. Very silly. Just a fun adventure... Bit of a spoiler: And for purposes of escaping emotional trauma I will state clearly, they all live.
Dudley Moore is the narrator and he does all the character voices. He's quite remarkable. His fox is too funny, and the bounding dear cracks me up every time.
After watching it several times and listening to it while reading, I think the music is the key ingredient. The music maintains a light & silly atmosphere. If they'd chosen music full of dread or horror rather than silliness, the movie would be awful. The music tells you the adventure is fun and that even though it's a little scary, everything will be all right.

Thursday, June 05, 2008

Noah's ark

This is a cool story-

This Dutch guy built a small working model of the ark.

It's not anywhere near the actual size, but you still get an idea of what it would have probably looked like. And that was his dream- to cause people in the spiritually dry Holland to think about God.

Prayer Request

I heard really awful news last night.
I have a beautiful 15 year old cousin, W.
She was raped by a 'friend' from school.
Please pray for W., her parents, and her big brother.
They are all believers, and are trying to find God's plan in this.
Please pray God can make something beautiful out of this hideous mess.

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Books I read in May

Airs Beneath the Moon by Toby Bishop A-
From the cover: "At Deeping Farm, far in the Uplands, young Larkyn Hamley finds a lone winged horse, starving, exhausted, and about to give birth. The headstrong Larkyn saves the newborn from death. But in the process, the coal-black foal named Tup bonds with Lark, which the horses only do with one human woman for life. So when Mistress Phillipa Winter arrives to inspect Tup, she has little choice but to take the farm girl to the Academy for a ‘proper’ education. There, Lark realizes that her unlikely good fortune may not be so lucky. For in the elite world of the Academy, Lark’s kindness and honesty prove to be weak armor against the taunts and cruelty of the high-born girls already there. Now, with Tup as her only ally, Larkyn Hamley is going to show everyone how high she can fly. Because if she falls, it’s a long, long way down."
Excellent. Reminiscent of Mercedes Lackey’s first book, Arrows Flight from the Queen’s Own trilogy. Definitely my favorite find of the month. Interesting characters. Complicated intrigue and mystery. Enough magic to sparkle...
Indelible Ink edited by Scott Larsen A
Essays by Joni Eareckson Tada, Charles Colson, Jay Kesler, Calvin Miller, Michael Card, Dallas Willard, Jill Briscoe, D. James Kennedy, J.I. Packer, Liz Curtis Higgs, Donald G. Bloesch, Kenneth N. Taylor, Gary R. Collins, Luci Shaw, Phillip E. Johnson, Luis Palau, John R. W. Stott, Edith Schaeffer, Walter Wangerin, Jr., Ravi Zacharias, Josh McDowell, Larry Crabb
This books deserved it's own entry, so I already wrote one. :)
When the Last Leaf Falls by Bill Myers (not the reporter guy) A
From the Cover: Paul Newcombe, a dedicated pastor, has all the answers until his strong-willed teenage daughter is stricken with a life-threatening disease. Together, he and Grandpa- a retired pastor and artist- and the rest of the family are hurled on an unforgettable roller-coaster ride of tears and laughter, heartache and joy, hope and fear... until they experience a powerful taste of God’s greatest gift to mankind.
This was excellent- I’m not a fan of much ‘Christian’ literature. It seems like to often it’s an excuse for mediocrity. "She’s giving it all to God, so we need to just be kind." There’s truth to that, but there’s also truth to the fact that the Jews were expected to provide a perfect lamb as their sacrifice to God.
This book had interesting characters and an interesting idea- plus the idea of art offered to God is threaded throughout this book- Grandpa is striving to create the perfect picture of God’s sacrifice. Paul’s daughter is a dancer who danced for God’s glory until cancer took her joy & faith...
Without Due Process by J.A. Jance B
J.P. Beaumont mystery. Sad one. Good mystery.
Failure to Appear by J.A. Jance B
J.P. Beaumont mystery. Theatre! Yay! A mystery set in the world of Ashland, Oregon’s Shakespeare Festival. Good one.
Breach of Duty by J.A. Jance B
J.P. Beaumont mystery. I’d read this one before... Beau’s partner dies and he ends up quitting the Seattle PD. Good one. Lots of interesting bits that come together... Some surprising twists.
Birds of Prey J.A. Jance B
J.P. Beaumont mystery. Not my favorite of the J.P. Beaumont mysteries, but still good. It’s set on an Alaskan cruise ship so that’s kinda fun for me... A bunch of Alaskan images and culture.
Long Time Gone by J.A. Jance B
J.P. Beaumont mystery. I really liked this one- Excellent mystery. It was good to get this follow up on some of Beau’s friends we haven’t seen in a while. I admit I knew who’dunit before it was done, but hey... I’ve read a lot of her mysteries by now...

Shade’s Children by Garth Nix B
Dark & sad... A post-apocolyptical future with only children surviving.

The Alton Gift by Marion Zimmer Bradley & Deborah Ross B+
Bradley passed away a few years ago, but she gave Ross her visions & notes for the future Darkovan novels. Ross writes better relationships than Bradley did; however, Ross lacks the zing of Bradley’s writing.
This started soooooo slow- I had almost given up. In fact, I had told myself that if the next chapter wasn’t any better I was putting it down, and then it got going. Took her about a third of the way in for the story to gel. I think she should have just cut out some of the back story and let the book stand without some of the first chapters. It is a joy to see the continuing story of Darkover, Lew Alton and his daughter. Even though Ross is not the writer Bradley was, I am pleased to read the continuing adventures...

Dead over Heels by MaryJanice Davidson B+
3 short stories, by the same author of the mermaid romances... The first was a vampire story, the second was a mermaid story and the third takes place in her werewolf world. I liked these. Definitely not deep thoughtful fiction. Mindless, brainless silly stories. I love her sense of humor, though. A little more steamy than my usual books, so beware. My favorite was the vampire story, which is kind of funny ‘cuz I typically don’t care for vampires. (Beth loves ‘em.)

Weregirls: Birth of the Pack by Petru Popescu C
This was not as good as it should have been... I picked it up at the library ‘cuz it looked good, but I got so annoyed. Too much unnecessary mystery. I wanted to spank the main character... And the most frustrating part is that she never had any negative results from the choices her parents and friends are telling her NOT to make. She deliberately ignores her ‘mystical advisors’ & never really deals with the serious consequences her choices should have caused. As a parent and a teacher, this book really annoyed me. As a fan of modern urban fantasy, this book was a disappointment.

Dragon’s Bait by Vivian Vande Velde B-
Beth suggested this one, and it wasn’t as good as I had hoped. It’s very simple. Lies are created to destroy the main character’s life- she is branded a witch and left for a dragon to devour. When the dragon arrives it offers her the opportunity for revenge. She learns that revenge isn’t as sweet as she expected. I didn’t find the characters very interesting or believable... And I found the dragon guy very annoying and standoffish. I didn’t understand why on earth the main character would like him enough to take off with him in the end.

Killing Moon by Rebecca York C
Werewolf book. Liked the characters. Predictable and convenient.

Jake & Cloverfield

I need to apologize to my husband. I wrongfully stated that he liked Cloverfield.
He has since clarified his opinions quite strongly. :)

Jake hated Cloverfield.
Did not like or care about the characters.
Did not like the way the story was filmed.

He said he'd like to see the story again with people he cared about & without the crazy motion... He also wondered why the friends went with the hero back into Manhattan. My husband's the hero type. He would be the guy going in to get me, but he wouldn't have let anyone come with him... And he wouldn't be the tag along friend going just 'cuz. For that matter, neither would I.


Well, guess what?
I didn't get that terribly sick from Cloverfield after all...
I've had flu for the last 2 and half days- I don't mind admitting that we even thought I might be pregnant.
However, I just cleaned my 5 year old up after she threw up, so we can definitively state that my nausea was flu.
So, while Cloverfield did make me sick, it wasn't as bad as we thought... I probably caught something from somebody at church instead.

Tuesday, June 03, 2008


Jake & I found another funny website... It's called and we laughed for about an hour last night.
This picture was our favorite.
Couldn't quite figure out how you could mistake an opossum for a cat- maybe if you lived in the city all your life?

Monday, June 02, 2008

Movie: Cloverfield

Oh, My! Aaaaaaaah!
We rented Cloverfield last night...

Okay, so I love sci-fi flicks. The Alien trilogy was excellent. (I try to pretend the fourth one was never made...) I love the Terminators, Star Treks, X-Men, The Matrix and Star Wars movies. Independance Day had it's great points and it's weak ones, but I still loved it. Serenity; I, Robot; I Am Legend; Pitch Black; The Fifth Element; Star-Gate; Highlander; Men in Black; The Day After Tomorrow; Tomb Raider; Van Helsing; Total Recall. These are my movies! The ones I reach for and enjoy most of the time... A few had some problems that I'd like to fix (story line or bad CGI), but in general, I enjoyed them. Many of them I love with every bit of my sci-fi heart.

Cloverfield breaks the roll I'm on...
It was AWFUL.
As in, I was in the bathroom throwing up. Literally.
I got so motion sick that I was nauseous all night. Jake couldn't even sleep in the same bed 'cuz every time he turned over or moved I got up to go throw up... Finally he took his pillow and a blanket and went and slept on the couch. I would have left, but I'd finally fallen asleep and he was so afraid to move that he crept out on silent cat feet. I had a five star headache (one of my migraines) and I'm still queasy this morning.

I know most people enjoy reality tv stuff. I don't.
I could get car sick in the second seat of an open aired bus.

The story line of Clover field is fairly simple. It's a monster movie with a twist- the main characters were at a party recording it on video when a giant squid/octopus attacks Manhattan island. The party-goers continue filming as they're trying to escape. They run around the island getting attacked by the monster and it's babies until they're all dead.

So, the whole thing is filmed in jerky swingy action packed motions. I only made it 20 minutes in until I was so sick that I thought I'd never be well again.

I think Jake liked the movie. The characters are interesting and the basic story line is kinda cool.
Too bad it made me sick.