Sunday, March 28, 2010

Still Here

My mom, dad, sister and I moved to Alaska in '82 with the understanding we'd move back to Oregon as soon as we could. Within the next 5 years, at least.

We are still here.
After 28 years.

And after I graduated from UAF in '95, I had no intention of coming back up here. Imagine my surprise when I discovered Jake loved Fairbanks. We moved up here in 2003 so that he could go back to school, while we lived with my parents for a bit.

And we are still here.
After 7 years.

After Jake dropped out of school. After it was suggested it would be 'better for us to leave' our church. After both our girls started school... After my father passed away. After my job disintegrated. After all our crazy medical problems.

What on earth is going on? Does Alaska just suck people up and hold on to them?

Honestly, it's CRAZY expensive to try and move back down to the lower 48. There's no way we could afford it right now.

And what would we be moving to? We don't have job expectations... We don't have family who could 'support' us. We don't have God's voice calling us to go someplace specific.

We just have a sense of homelesness, a kind of 'no place of our own'... Jake and I both love Fairbanks, but haven't really got a church home here any more. We live with my mom and sister, and can't really call this house our own. We have our own space here (our room and the girls' room), but about half of our belongings are in the garage. I don't even know what's out there any more...

God, I think I'm ready. I want what the next thing is... I want to be serving you and living my life for you. Wherever that takes us.

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