Saturday, March 27, 2010

The Awkward One

You know that friend you've got who has their foot permanently stuck in their mouth??
The one who's always saying weird things about someone's mom, or someone's new hair-style?

That's me.
Oh, yeah. I'm really good at it.

I've curiously asked someone about their really cool bun, and if the hole in the middle goes all the way through... I didn't even know what was wrong when she got upset and walked away, till somebody explained later that she thought I meant she was dumb, and that her head was empty... I just wanted to know how she got her hair to look like that.

I rarely know what's going on either. I'll be lying in bed four hours later thinking, "Oh, no! That's what they thought I meant..."

I don't know why I'm so socially awkward. You'd think by now that I'd have more control over my tongue. I am 38! For crying out loud. You'd think I'd have it all together by now...

But no. I still do it.

Those are my most embarrassing moments, too. Not the ones everybody else can share, like being wrapped in a shower curtain when they forgot to take their clothes to the shower at camp, and then got their clothes all wet... (I have a friend who did that, by the way)

Nope. Mine are things like, when I sent my Jewish professor a passover card, and then said something SO stupid when he told me thank you that I literally cannot remember what I said to him...
I said something along the lines of, 'well, I thought if you'd sent me an Easter card it would be cool...' But I can't remember! I've permanently blocked it out of my head, so it was probably worse than that.

One of the recent ones was when I got to see an old friend from college, and I said to him, "I never would have recognized you..." What does that even mean? Can you imagine what he probably thought of that??? It was 'cuz he had just gone camping and had a really bad sun-burn all over, but I'm sure he thought I meant he looked weird...

I swear, my mouth just takes over me sometimes! Do you ever have moments like these?

I wish I could go back in time and take some of these things out of the air... Like I could just grab the word bubble coming out of my mouth and reign it in.

This comes out of James 3:8, and I wish it weren't so: "no man can tame the tongue."

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