I'm pretty sure that John Tillman in Company told me this joke. It's my 2nd favorite joke of all time. I can almost tell it right, but have messed it up a couple times, too. Why can't I tell a joke? If I had to save my life by telling a joke, I'd be shot dead!
A panda bear walks into a bar, and tells the bartender that he wants to have lunch. The bartender gives him a menu and he orders.
The panda bear eats his lunch, and when he finishes, he gets up to leave. Suddenly, the panda bear pulls an AK-47 out of his fur, and shoots the bar to pieces. He then heads for the door.
The shocked bartender jumps out from behind the destroyed bar and yells, "Hey, what do you think you're doing? You ate lunch, shot up my bar, and now you're just going to leave?"
The panda bear answers calmly, "I'm a panda bear." The bartender says, "Yeah, so?" The panda bear replies, "Look it up!" and walks out the door.
The bartender jumps back behind the ruined bar and grabs his encyclopedia. He looks up "Panda" and sure enough, there is a picture of the panda bear.
He reads the caption, which says, "Panda Bear: a cuddly, black and white creature. Eats shoots and leaves."
And so it goes.
3 months ago