From my friend, Donna: "I will not disguise it,--life is replete with anxieties, perplexities, cares, toils, sufferings, and sorrows: Well, let them come. It is a state of probation and of discipline, and all things are so arranged by infinite wisdom and benevolence, that even we may become in a high degree possessors of the rich stores of quiet self-denial, of holy fortitude, of cheerful resignation, and of heaven-born benevolence. We will then travel on in the vale of mortality, in the depths of nothingness, if such be the will of our Lord, until, from exalted heights, we hear a seraphic voice saying: 'Come home to your rest.'" (Thurston, Lucy Goodale. Life and Times of Mrs. Lucy G. Thurston. S.C. Andrews: 1882.)
There are days when I just long to go home... Recently, I attended the funeral for a sweet lady, Callie Thomas, Callie Underwood's Mom. (Callie is the youth director at the church we recently left) The funeral was a celebration of her life and of the fact that she is no longer in such terrible pain, but instead she is now at home in heaven... She had eight children and six of them were there- The oldest is the only one who didn't know Jesus... Such a hard time for him! I believe most people in the room were Christians and were sad for her to be gone, but happy for her to be where she is now... Not him. I'm so glad he felt at liberty to express that verbally. He said something along the lines of: "I know you all believe she's in a better place, but that's no comfort to me. She's gone and I just miss my mom..."
At this time of the year I start thinking about my dad.. He died two years ago around the beginning of December. For some reason this year's anniversary (the second year) of his death is much more difficult for my mom... I've got to be honest and say that my dad was not the best dad. He was a wonderful daddy- very good at playing around and being silly and my favorite memories of him are pretty much all surrounding vacations, trips and camping; but he wasn't around when things got hard and wasn't involved in the day to day reality of raising my sister and me. He didn't know how to handle "negative emotions" and would pretty much just yell at us and split if he got mad... He wasn't involved in any disciplining type stuff and because of his job was gone for months on end. I still miss him. And knowing that he is in heaven and that God has perfected him and that when I see him in heaven finally we will both be able to let go of all the angst and anger and just love each other the way God wants us to- Well, it makes me miss him more. I never got what I needed from him while I was alive, but I know that one day we will have the relationship that God wanted us to have when I join him in heaven... Makes me want to go home... Not the only reason to want to be in heaven, but a good one...
And so it goes.
3 months ago