Happy New Year!
I want to look back over the year, evaluate what happened and think about what I want to happen this year... I rarely do that. Mostly my life is spent putting out fires... You know what I mean: making jewelry for the next event, planning dinners for this week, caring for a sick child or husband (shocking how similar those can be!), rehearsing for the next performance...
I want this to change! Most of the time I feel very out of control and like I can't handle anything else on my very full plate. I want to be able to evaluate my current responsibilities and choose whether I will deal with anything extra and maybe ditch some of the things that I shouldn't be doing. I want to have a pleasant & clean home I can invite friends & family to (which I currently do not have!).
I want to make changes that transform my life and bring more peace to both myself and my family. I don't really know how to make sweeping changes, though. I know how to take small steps, but I'm not sure where to start.
So, I'm currently looking for the specific things I want to change...
One of those is where we live.
Jake & I came up to Fairbanks for him to go to school, and we moved in with my parents so that we could afford for him to pursue a degree. LOTS of things happened: another baby was born, my dad died, Jake's job didn't work out, Jake had serious health complications, I had serious health complications, Jake dropped out of school... And here we are. Still living with my mom. And we want to be on our own again...
This isn't something I can just wave a wand and change. For us to live on our own, I need a full time job. But I'm honestly not qualified to do much. =) Those of us with art/drama degrees have to make strange decisions about jobs. I love working where my girls go to school. I love seeing them during my work day, and they love having me there. I don't know that I want a full time job, but I do want to live in our own place.... . Kind of an impossible change unless God makes it happen.
It's interesting to me how one change affects everything else in my life.
I also want to have fun making different kinds of jewelry, and make time to create more.
I have to be more focused if I'm going to make that happen... Instead of floating through my evenings and discovering that suddenly its time to go to bed after doing 'nothing'. Maybe I can choose a specific day to make new pieces? I'll have to think about it. But I don't want to think about it so much that it doesn't happen.
So... Not much decided here, except the fact that I definitely want to make changes. I will choose some specific things to change.