Sunday, August 23, 2009


I'm ready for change... So tired of this place, this time, this house...
Why can't I be content?
Rest in God's arms and trust Him to care for me?
Trust Him to know the right time?

Why do I fight?
I'm like a prizefighter- knocked down, but still yelling,
"I'm the champ! Let me up! I can do it!
Let me at him! I've got it in me!
Just wait! You'll see!"

I'm so tired of having this dream in me,
like a woman nine months pregnant,
and ready to hold her new baby in her arms.

This dream echoes in my head, in my heart.
A place for me and Jake.
A time for us.
No debt.
Reasonable bills.
A church home where we are loved, accepted and useful.
Two little blond girls, happy and excited to grow and explore.

Such a simple and almost unreachable goal.
So little compared to my goals & dreams 5, 10 years ago.

Dreams to be mightily used by God.
To have a creative ministry.
To be part of a group of people growing in God and reaching people.

Now, I just want to be where You want me to be.
Now, I just want to be united with You.
Used by You.
Freed by You.
Growing in You.

Tired, tired, tired of the same old.

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