Friday, September 25, 2009

God's Voice- Part 1

God has spoken to me. Clearly, loudly, and in vivid pictures.
I've been thinking about how incredibly blessed I am...

Many people go their entire lives without hearing the voice of God. They faithfully obey and read God's word and never hear God's voice.

I know I've heard God speak clearly several times, and I thought it would be cool to travel down those memory paths... To remember the times He's given me very clear direction.

After my grammy & cousin died from cancer, my family moved to California. I had very few friends and we ended up in a lousy neighborhood. I saw racism, drugs, gangs, and abused kids (all on a small scale). Then we moved to Kotzebue in Alaska and I witnessed alcoholism, poverty, domestic violence, and experienced racism.... Next, we moved to Fairbanks. Here I had two close friends who were being abused in their home, one by her uncle and the other by her father. And at the same time, I was learning about how evil we've been to each other throughout history- the trail of tears, the Japanese internment camps, the Nazis in Germany...

I came to a point where I truly believed that God was either evil, powerless, or nonexistent. If He had power and was this incredibly wonderful & loving God like I was told at church, why didn't He do something for the powerless? Why didn't He save my Grammy who loved Him so much? Why didn't He stop or prevent some of the evil?

I attended church, because that was a requirement in my house, but I stopped believing in a good God. I stopped trusting Him. I wanted to have nothing to do with Him.

Until my friend who'd experienced so much abuse opened up about some of what was going on in her home- attempted suicide, went away, and came back a different person.

She talked about God being the 'perfect Daddy'. Not like her own. She talked about how much His love had changed her.

And God spoke to me.
Not some loud voice.
Not some huge fanfare.
Just a quiet whisper...

At the Youth Evangelism Conference in Anchorage AK, a man named David Ring spoke about God's love.
David has cerebral palsy and a powerful testimony.

And again, I heard God's whisper...

"I love you. I have a plan for you...
I love you. I am holding on to you, even though you are pushing me away.
Remember, I love you.
I love you. I will never leave you or forsake you.
I love you."

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