Thursday, September 15, 2011

9/11

For about the last week I've been a little moody and I kept thinking about the 'Good Old Days'... My family down in Oregon, our church-family in Seattle, my college friends from UAF, my Company-family (the drama team I traveled with for 5 years). I was thinking how much I miss all those people, and how much I want to go back to those times and do things better ('cuz I hope I'm a little more grown up, and can make better choices!)

I even ended up in a silly argument with my husband on Saturday. About money and financial decisions and blah-blah-blah... And yes, I started the argument, and it got a little heated. But we got it worked out, we apologized, made up and we're okay now...

It wasn't until I was watching one of the 9/11 reports Sunday night that I finally figured out what was going on. I was focusing on my relationships, all the loss (and my life has had enough leaving to create a lot of loss) I'm thankful for all the amazing experiences I've had, but sometimes it's shocking to look at how much my life has changed over the years.

And I've been feeling sad that I can't go back in time to those precious moments and enjoy them again. That I can't go back to travelling and performing. That I don't even have the time to perform in local productions. That I don't teach drama anymore. That I don't have the freedom I had in Seattle and Fort Worth. I've been wallowing in my 'might-have beens' and my 'wish-I-coulds'...

I believe there are very few things that are eternal- God and our souls (the part of us that holds our personality & inviduality, memories & experiences). That's it. Everything else will pass- our stuff, our accomplishments, our money. In the end all we will have will be the eternal things.

I want to focus on what matters- my relationships with those around me, and my relationship with Jesus. I want to spend my limited resource (ME- my time and energy) on what is precious and valuable. Not on what will go away...

1 comment:

Charis Designs said...

Love this post, Becca. I started off by looking at your BSBP piece( which I think is fantastic) and then scrolled down. Focusing on the eternal will NEVER disappoint! Thanks for a great reminder. I'm now following your blog- would love for you to come take a peek at mine :) Christie @ CharisDesignsJewelry.blogspot.com