recovery

I am tired all the time. I sleep. And I wake up tired.
I go to work, get Abigail to her OT, get Deborah, make dinner, and fall asleep on the couch.
I'm not making much stuff right now- just what I make at class.

I go to bed, and have trouble sleeping, but I can fall asleep anywhere else.
I actually started to fall asleep with one of my first grade students... Pretty pathetic.
Poor little guy. We were playing a game, and I closed my eyes. Then I opened them. And he was looking at me. He said, "You fell asleep!" And I was all like, "You know, I think I did." It wasn't long, but it was kind of embarrassing...

When I talked to my physical therapist she told me the kind of major surgery I had takes a long time to recover from... I want it to be fast. Like it's been about 3 months now. I should be better! Not falling asleep the instant I sit down! I should be back to making jewelry, and dancing in the streets!

But the paper-work my PT gave me indicates that I only have so much energy to give during a single day. And my surgeon told me my body is in the process of re-building muscles, nerves, bones, and tendons in my neck & spine. Therefore, when my energy runs out during the day, it's just gone. And half my energy is in the process of re-building myself.

I feel like a 'half-man, half'machine' sort of thing... Wish I could figure out how to share the crazy pics I've got of the screws and THINGS in my neck.

I miss blogging. I miss writing about stuff. I miss having the energy to write about stuff... I'll think about something to write, sit down at the computer, and have no clue what I was gonna write about...

That's the thing about energy. It's where my creativity seems to be located. I've only got so much energy right now, and I can't seem to save any of it to write about cool stuff.

I will get back to you, little blog. I love you, and I haven't forgotten about you. In fact, I think about you every day. Recovery is only for a season. And this season will not last forever. Please wait for me, little blog. I'll be back soon.