Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Christmas Break is OVER!!!

Deborah went back to school today!!!
Thank you, God!

I love my oldest daughter, but good grief, she is exhausting.

One of the personality traits I appreciate in Abigail is her ability to entertain herself. Abigail can happily play by herself with play dough, Fisher Price Little People, dolls, books... Almost anything. And she can play by herself for 30 to 60 minutes with almost no intervention.
What a blessing!

Whereas my oldest cannot play by herself at all. She demands almost constant interaction. I don't know if this is because she is such an extravert or just what... Maybe 'cuz she was born first and I had more time when she was a baby? Whatever the reason, she wants someone to play with her ALL day when she's home. She doesn't seem to be able to play anything by herself- dolls, books, play dough... Everything has to be done with a partner.

It's not just that she'll beg for me to play with her. It's that if I can't (say I'm doing laundry or dishes) she wants to interact. Have me tell her a story, or tell me a story... I know I should be enjoying this. I know I should be thankful that I still have so much of her heart now. I know I should be the perfect Mommy and delight in my daughter's company 100% of the day.

But frankly, sometimes, I just want there to be some silence. I just want her to go away for half an hour and leave me alone! I want her to read a book, watch a movie or play with the legos and build a tower- BY HERSELF.

Yes, I know. I'm a selfish, evil sinner. And a failure as a mommy.
I should be so enthralled with this gift from God that I want her company all the time. I should be delighted with the idea of homeschooling her and teaching her everything she'll need to know to survive in the world. I should long for the chance to teach her scriptures and cooking and math.

But oh, how I look forward to her going to pre-school!
I know that when she's there she chatters all the time with her little friends. I know that when she's there she gets the opportunity to paint, garden and see baby chicks. She's introduced to other cultures (one of the other students came directly from Mexico and is learning English in their class!) and different foods and music. She interacts with other adults, plays outside in snow and inside on a tricycle. She is offered so many more opportunities to explore the world around her and what her body can do.

Plus, when I get the break from her, I enjoy my time with her much more. I'm more rested and able to interact with her. I'm more able to listen to her chatter when I've had silence for 4 or 5 hours... In addition, I have the time to play with Abigail (often prevented by Deborah's constant need for interaction!).

Thank you God for Deborah's pre-school!

1 comment:

Valette said...

Just because you want a half hour of silence doesn't make you a selfish, evil, or a bad mother. Even Jesus needed a periodic break from his disciples and the crowds. And a good parent needs to teach a child to be self-sufficient - she isn't always going to have parents or siblings around to entertain her. So stop with the guilt trips!