My mom is down in Oregon to be with her brother since her sister passed away last week. She was able to be there for the interment (burial of the ashes), and I'm glad.
I'm glad she was there. It's where she should be.
But today is her birthday, and I'm sad she's not here.
I miss her. I miss the stuff she does around here.
With her gone we're taking the girls to Farmer's Market, and I'm feeling incredibly selfish. FM was so intensely crazy with a 3 yr old and a 6 yr old.
I'm ready for my mom to be back! I want her here to watch the girls when I take a shower, or when I go to FM. I want her here to take some of the pressure of being a mommy off me.
I'm completely spoiled. I can leave the girls with my mom when I go grocery shopping, or take a shower. When Abigail hit her knee and the doctor told us to go to the ER, Jake and I both went and Deborah stayed home with her grammy. I can run out at night to rent a movie, and leave the girls in bed 'cuz my mom is here to listen for them.
Except she's not now.
And I want her back.
Which makes me realize how incredibly blessed/gifted/spoiled I am. Because my cousin just lost her mom, and is having a very hard time.
Mom, I miss you! I miss talking to you and I miss asking you stuff.
God, thank you for my sweet mom. Thank you for her ability to be a wonderful Grammy. Thank you for all she does and is for my girls. She has been a stabilizing force that they badly needed this last crazy year.
Please hold Susan close. Remind her how much you love her and how much her family loves her. Please allow her to work through her grief in the right time and right way for her. Thank you that my aunt is home, and no longer in pain. She can breathe, and run and walk. And hold her two girls she's been waiting so long for, and hug her mom and dad, and siblings.
I love you, God. Thank you for your good gifts.
And so it goes.
3 months ago